Jayme: Dude did you notice that A-Rod's lips are purple?
Jayme: Thats cause hes been sucking so much cock.
Elena: That happens when you do that?
God I love my best friend!
RED SOXS BABY!!!! SO FUCKING PUMPED....MONDAY NIGHT BOSTON...AND IF THERE IS A GAME FRIDAY I'LL ALREADY BE IN BOSTON FOR ALEXANDRAS 21ST B-DAY AND SATURDAY CAUSE WELL WE FUCKING RULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
You Know You're From Massachusetts When...
The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow.
When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke...not quinine water.
You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.
You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.
You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit.
You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.
You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks.
You know what they sell at a packie.
You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.
You can actually find your way around Boston.
Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.
You know what First Night is.
You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.
You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day.
You have never been to Cheers.
When the words 'WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together.
You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Pats would move to Hartford.
You have gone to at least one party at UMass.
The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools.
You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat.
You think Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever.
You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner's legs.
You pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this season, but in your lifetime.
You know how to make a frappe.
You know that "Big Dig" is also a kind of ice cream you can get at Brigham's.
You actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one.
You never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape".
You think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger.
You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, or both, on field trip in grammar school.
You're aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world.
You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day.
You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.
You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group.
You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90% Lebanese.
You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.
You've called something "wicked pissa"
You have driven to either Rhode Island, New Hampshire or Vermont for a tattoo.
You see people like Steven Tyler (Aerosmith), Dicky Barret (The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones), and Evan Dando (The Lemonheads) in the local supermarket and it doesn't phase you.
You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater
Know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frank(ie)
Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS within eyeshot at all times.
You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car...year round
You still try to order curly fries from Burger King
You order iced coffee in January
You know what candlepin bowling is
You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax
You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.
You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop
You know what a "regular" coffee is
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts.
Aries - Your Love Profile
Your positive traits:
You're quite the charmer. You've got the wit and attitude to attract almost anyone you meet.
Out spoken and honest, any date knows how they stand with you.
Fearless, independent, and willing to try anything twice - your dates should expect the unexpected.
Your negative traits:
You tend to be vain, and you expect your partner to feed that vanity often with complements.
Hot tempered and impulsive, you've occasionally ended things ... only to reget it later.
You're obsessed with being the best, most loved girlfriend or boyfriend your sweetie's ever had
Your ideal partner:
A risk taking, free spirit like yourself - who can keep up with your latest wild child antics
Someone stylish, attractive, and fit... who can keep you attracted for months
Is hard to get - and lets you pursue things. You prefer to be the chaser, not the one being chased.
Your dating style:
Wild, unpredictable, fun, and daring. Your ideal date may involve a couple motorcycles or naked skydiving.
Your seduction style:
Honest and direct - you have no need for romance or much foreplay.
Show off. You like to show your lover how you're the best ever.
Ambitious. You often like to go all night - or aim for multiple orgasms.
Tips for the future:
Start to believe in second and third chances. You don't have to dump them so fast.
Savor the process. Sometimes the best part of falling in love is taking things in slow motion.
Let go of comparisons. If someone's with you, then you've already one. Stop worrying about exes.
Get your free love profile at Blogthings.
I found this on a community...really hits hard...
Ask the 25-year-old who tried to electricute himself. He lived. But both his arms are gone.
What about jumping? Ask John. He used to be intelligent, with an engaging sense of humor. That was before he leapt from a building. Now, he's brain-damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. But, worst of all, he KNOWS he used to be normal.
What about pills? Ask the 12-year-old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver damage? You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go.
What about a gun? Ask the 24-year-old who shot himself in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm and has no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof" suicide. You might too.
But... Who will clean your blood off the carpet or scrape your brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning companies may refuse that job--but SOMEONE has to do it.
Who will have to cut you down from where you hung yourself or identify your bloated body after you've drowned? Your father? Your mother? Your wife? Your son?
The carefully worded "loving" suicide note is of no help. Those who loved you will NEVER completely recover. They'll feel regret and an unending pain.
Suicide is contagious. Look around your family. Look closely at the 4 year old playing with his cars on the rug. Kill yourself tonight, and he may do it ten years from now.
You DO have other choices. There are people who can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Call your minister or priest. Call a doctor or hospital. Call the police. They will tell you that there's hope. Maybe you'll find it in the mail tomorrow. Or in a phone call this weekend. But what you're seeking could be just a minute, a month, or a day away.
You say you don't want to be stopped? Still want to do it? -Well, then, I may see you in the psychiatric ward later. And we'll work with whatever you have left.
Remember: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
***IF YOU’RE READING THIS, PLEASE STEAL IT AND PUT IT IN YOUR JOURNAL TOO.***